It appears that the Night Time Industries Association read my blog. A few weeks ago, I wrote about the numerous difficulties that clubs would encounter if they had to conduct Covid tests on guests before they’re allowed entry.

Their CEO has now mentioned there are talks going on where people would test themselves at home instead, before venturing out. They would record themselves with a phone doing the test and getting the result.

This proposal seems more plausible, but I can still see problems here. For starters, how are clubbers meant to obtain these tests? You can’t just turn up at your Covid testing centre – they only see people who are either symptomatic or have been sent there by the authorities.

The government says that you can order lateral flow tests from their website. The problem is this service is not universally available. In England, it’s only available in certain council areas. Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland have different rules, which pose further problems for people who have travelled from further away.

So that means you have to order the test privately. They’ll cost you somewhere between £6 and £10 each, with discounts for buying them in bulk. This means that the idea of a spontaneous night out would be impossible unless you had a supply of tests purchased in advance.

And whilst we’re at it, here’s one other complication to add to the mix. At some point, someone somewhere is going to get an inconclusive result but try to gain entry anyway. How will security deal with this situation? Will they have to wear PPE at all times?

This isn’t clear at present, and it should be clearer by now. These things were first announced a few weeks ago.

The last time I wrote about this, my conclusion was:

“Why do I get the distinct feeling that, not for the first time, Boris Johnson is talking out of his defecatory orifice?”

I’m seeing nothing to change my mind here…