This saga is rumbling on longer than I thought. On Monday, I disclosed that the agency who represented the DJ who wrote a piece for me about why he did plague raves and agreed to do an interview afterwards weren’t happy with me.

They wanted a full retraction. They wanted a public apology for the harm done to their DJ and to their agency. And they wanted an offer of compensation made to them. Oh, and for me to sign a gagging order banning me from disclosing what I know.

My response on Monday obviously wasn’t clear enough, as they’ve been in touch via email again. So, let’s go through this one more time.

You will not get a retraction of any kind. The DJ in question was acting entirely of his free will. Whether he’s broken any “contractual obligations” you cite in your emails is, frankly, not something I could care less about. That’s between you and him.

You will not be receiving a public apology (I assume that’s what you meant by “pubic apology”, anyway) either. A public apology would mean that I’d have to identify both the agency and the DJ – which means you’d inevitably be known as the plague rave agency once news got out. I’d also have to want to apologise to you, which I don’t. And I won’t.

You will also not be getting me to sign a gagging order. Apart from the fact you’re clearly trying to use it to impede free speech, there’s also the fact it would be utterly pointless. The public apology you ask for would have to disclose who you were and what I was apologising for – thus rendering any gagging orders a complete waste of time.

Once again, I sadly must instruct you to stick your ridiculous demands firmly up your arses. And if I hear from you again, you’re on notice that I’m going to bill you £200 for every single word you send me.

Now, I’ve got things to do. This blog doesn’t write itself…