That’s as close to London as you’re ever gonna get! Creamfields announce their 2022 festival is going to be in… Chelmsford, of all places

Back in the 90s, two of the powerhouse clubs were Ministry of Sound, based in London, and Cream, based in Liverpool. Rumours kept persisting throughout the decade that Cream was going to launch a new club in London – claims that reached fever pitch in 1997 when a rumour did the rounds about Cream’s owners buying the Ministry.

None of this happened in the end, of course. Any DJ worth their salt could tell you that people in London are very different to people in Liverpool. Things are done differently, and musical tastes vary. Such is the way. But Cream never did open their venue in Britain’s capital city.

Which is why I was bemused to read the Creamfields festival is going to Chelmsford in Essex next year. This is in addition to their regular festival in August. It’s probably as close to London as they’re ever going to get – which is consistent if nothing else.

It’s just as well Charles Dickens has been dead since 1870. In a letter written in 1835, he said “If any one were to ask me what in my opinion was the dullest and most stupid spot on the face of the Earth, I should decidedly say Chelmsford”. Ouch…