Pomposity and grand language can be used to make events look almost any way you’d like. If you or someone you know has been blessed with the abilities of a skilled orator or a scribe with a seemingly endless capacity for word salad, it’s possible to make something look like almost anything else.

Such as the latest gig in the diary of a certain Mr Jeffery Eugene Mills. This coming Thursday, a show will be broadcast online straight from Greece – or to be more precise, the island of Delos. This island is described on Wikipedia as “one of the most important mythological, historical, and archaeological sites in Greece” and has a total population of just 14.

Well, Mills will be there later this week as part of a show with the Alexander Socrates Onassis Foundation – founded in 1975 after the death of an enormously rich Greek shipping magnate in honour of his son, who perished in an airplane crash two tears earlier. The foundation loftily claims its “mission” is to “create the conditions, explore the ideas and trigger bold discussions that shape and shake society”.

And as expected with almost anything to do with Jeff Mills, the description of what the event is about is so circumlocutory that it’s painful to read. Some stuff about “ritualistic power” is mixed in there with an invitation to “celebrate a renewed zest for life”. From what I can read of it, the following is what happens.

Mills and two other people called Prabhu Edouard and Jean-Phi Dary go to a beautiful spot on this beautiful island. They then make up a load of music on the spot, then they leave and collect a wad of money afterwards – it’s unclear how much Mills is being paid for his show, but his typical fee is comfortably in five figure territory.

After that, Mills heads to Athens, enjoys the best of Greek hospitality and food for a bit and then heads on the plane back to Miami seeing all that “ritualistic power” making its way to his bank account. The show itself goes out at 9pm Athens time – or that’s 11am Miami time. Perhaps Derrick May will be watching – it’s not like he has much in the diary at present…

Update – this article originally said Jeff Mills lives in Detroit. This was incorrect – he actually lives in Miami. Apologies for the error.

By The Editor

Editor-in-chief at Amateur’s House.