Ultra Music Festival announce their lineup for 2022 – and yet again, it’s like reading the menu at McDonald’s… it’s always the same no matter where you go!

Another day, another festival announces its lineup. Or at least the first phase of the lineup – telling people everything they’re actually paying for in a ticket expensive enough to buy a small country with is out of fashion these days. This week, the Ultra Music Festival announced their biggest names for their 2022 festival, due to take place from March 25-27th.

As ever, the list contains the same old names. Carl Cox, CamelPhat, inventor of house music (according to ABC News, anyway) David Guetta, Martin Garrix, Nina Kraviz and some trumpet calling himself Timmy Trumpet all appear. It’s basically a business techno list with a few names like Carl Cox thrown in to add a little credibility.

Indeed, the more I think about it, the more I think that these festivals are a lot like the fast food chain McDonald’s. Most of the big festivals now have almost the same lineups. If you break through into the higher echelons of this world, you could make a living doing nothing but sets at festivals – you’re pretty much guaranteed work year after year.

The lineups hardly ever change, much like the menus of McDonald’s. Which begs the question – if DJs were items on a McDonald’s menu, what would they be and why? Well, Carl Cox is clearly the Big Mac. He’s been around for far longer than any of the others and generally speaking, he still delivers.

David Guetta has to be the Double Cheeseburger, if only for the amount of Camembert he manages to squeeze into every set. Gareth Emery is like a McFlurry, in the sense you wonder whether he used to be bigger in the past. And the aforementioned Timmy Trumpet must surely be the equivalent of the Chicken McNuggets Happy Meal.

As for the token fish item on the menu, the Filet-o-Fish which sits on menus feeling all full of itself with a gargantuan sense of entitlement? Well, there’s a joke to crack here about CamelPhat – but this blog is happy enough for you to make it…

Is it to buy more cola or just make things easier? CamelPhat are liquidating their own company – now let me tell you why this story isn’t quite as exciting as it first sounds…

If there’s one thing I’ve noticed about DJs over the years, it’s that the bigger they become, the more prickly and bad tempered they become. Whilst there are a few exceptions to the rule – Carl Cox, for example, remains pretty grounded despite his huge success – I’d argue it’s truer now than ever.

And you’d be hard pressed to find a duo that, despite being very successful and very rich, are even more miserable, foul-mouthed grumps than CamelPhat. For a duo whom have enjoyed considerable success – not just under the CamelPhat alias, but others before it – they do seem to have a chip on their shoulder.

They’re hopelessly bad at dealing with any criticism sent their way. So let’s aim some more questions in their direction. Namely, what the hell is going on their company CamelPhat Limited – or should I say former company?

Papers which have recently appeared on Companies House show that the company went into voluntary liquidation on 9th March 2020, just ahead of the pandemic. The liquidation process is still ongoing, not least because the person who was first appointed to carry out proceedings, Matthew Dunham, sadly died in July.

The company appeared to be in good health shortly before time was called on it. The last statements filed in February 2019 showed a plentiful £1.8million in the bank. Around the same time, they set up a brand new company Hypercolour Blue Limited – with the same David Whelan and Michael Di Scala in charge and registered at the same address as the last company.

Accounts for this new company are not yet available. So what is happening here? From the outset, it looks to me like the new company does a number of things that the old one didn’t – so it could be a simple case of putting everything they’re involved with in one company.

It might make doing the accounts simpler, if nothing else…

Someone needs to lay off the cola! This blog is challenged to say nice things about CamelPhat – and (this time, anyway) I’ll oblige…

I got a couple of emails in the inbox over the weekend following my article on Friday about the behaviour on social media of CamelPhat during the week. Most were supportive, but one thought I’d gone too far. This person then challenged me to say something nice about the two men.

Very well. I accept your challenge.

It’s no exaggeration to say the two of them had a big role in saving the arses of both Ministry of Sound and All Around The World Records in the early to mid-2000s. Let’s start with Ministry. As you may know, they used to have a hugely successful compilations business, but in 2002, Ministry of Sound’s profits took a big tumble.

Costs were shaven all over the business. Ministry closed their magazine of the same name and the compilation business was given orders to reduce the huge amount paid out in licensing costs. This led to a deal with Boss Records in Liverpool, who would supply a combination of house and trance tracks for their compilations with extra promotion from Ministry guaranteed.

Mike Di Scala, one half of CamelPhat, was heavily involved with Boss Records. His remix work for the label led to further opportunities from then EMI owned Positiva, for example. Dave Whelan came along a little later and quickly became just as crucial. Both men worked together and separately and made a lot of records for the label at that time.

In the meantime, All Around The World Records had done a deal with Universal, bringing about the Clubland series. Their biggest artists at the time were probably Ultrabeat, and guess who was in there? None other than Mike Di Scala…

See, I can be nice sometimes.

Isn’t it time someone had a word? CamelPhat are now threatening to sue a journalist – because she dared to disclose their wealth using papers THEY uploaded to Companies House!

CamelPhat have been around for quite a lot longer than anyone realises. They’re actually two guys called Dave Whelan and Mike Di Scala, and I first came across their names when they were working with Boss Records, a former Ministry of Sound imprint based in Liverpool.

The CamelPhat alias goes back all the way to 2010, although they were largely on the underground side. This all changed in 2017 when they teamed up with Elderbrook to make “Cola”, signed to Defected and hailed by Simon Dunmore as “the record that changed our strategy”.

They’re two talented men, there’s no denying it. Yet from their social media, you’d be half forgiven for thinking that DJ Sneak has taken over their Twitter account – such is their penchant for engaging in fights with anyone who criticises them. One would imagine their long time in the industry would have given them a thicker skin.

For example, this week, they appeared to change their tune on allegations they are anti-vaxxers. Last September, they were asked whether they would take a Covid vaccine. The reply?

Yet this week, they claimed they were misquoted. In a tweet on Wednesday after Business Teshno shared the quote once more, they replied with “The rest of the tweet from September 2020 went on to say not right now no, it needed to be tested/approved etc. I’m not against it, I just wanted to feel safe, Is that a crime?”.

You can make your minds up on that one. Less clear, however, is why they’re angry with Scottish journalist Zab Mustefa. After she posted a tweet revealing their earnings – which she obtained from publicly available information at Companies House – they said it’s “with the solicitors now”.

If either Whelan or Di Scala now wish to sue people for publicly declaring how much money they have using publicly available information in documents that they signed themselves, they might wish to sue Google as well. A quick search of the names of either men yields the result for Companies House that affronts them so much.

Anyway, talking to another Twitter user on Thursday afternoon about the row, they tried to explain themselves with this clanger

They appear to be under the impression that this information being out there makes them and their families more likely to be targeted by thieves. Casting aside the fact their registered address is a swanky office block in Liverpool city centre, I very much doubt that Whelan and Di Scala keep all their money under their sofas.

And in another sign the two men are losing their marbles after being away for 15 months from the clubs, they put up a poll asking followers whether they’d be willing to pay into a fund for a possible £10k fine if a club was to open before restrictions were lifted.

They made clear to another followers that the poll was “theoretical”, but one has to wonder who is advising these two. They have not played any plague raves in the past 15 months, but the optics of this are just terrible. Anyone who saw the poll might be under the impression they were serious.

After this week, questions should no doubt be asked by those higher up. Back in January, CamelPhat signed a publishing deal with Sony/ATV – will they be watching the latest shenanigans with concern? What about record label RCA?

It’s an open question, but someone close to the gentlemen might wish to have a word. Going after people on social media and threatening journalists might look good to some of your Twitter followers – it is not going to be seen so favourably by potential future employers.