What to do with a problem like climate change? If you’re Coldplay, you get your fans to make electricity on the dancefloor – whilst continuing to travel around the world on luxurious private jets…

In the world we live in, there’s an increasing number of people who have no ability whatsoever to understand how their actions might be perceived by others. This usually results in them being completely baffled when someone takes an issue with something they’ve said or done.

We saw it last year when Prince Harry and Meghan Markle started talking about the environment. They spoke about not using more resources than necessary – a weird claim from a couple who live in a house with nine bedrooms and 16 bathrooms, and who travel around the world using gas-guzzling private jets. They remain completely impervious to the criticism and simply cannot see they look like a pair of hypocrites.

Cue ultra-depressing band Coldplay stepping into the fray. You see, they’ve just announced they’re going back on tour next year. And they spent the pandemic trying to work out how to make it as environmentally friendly as possible – I never thought anyone could make Sasha’s lockdown of baking bread look exciting, but here we are.

Singer Chris Martin gave an interview to the BBC and spoke about “kinetic flooring”. This is something I referenced in a recent article about Glasgow nightclub SWG3. When you dance on this floor, it creates heat. This heat is transported through a series of tiny boreholes and used to power everything. And when more heat is being created than necessary, the surplus can be stored and used later on.

Whenever the interviewer points out they use private jets – take note of an awkward question being posed, dance music press – Martin replies with “The people who give us backlash for that kind of thing, for flying, they’re right. So we don’t have any argument against that”. Nor, it seems, do they have any intention of doing anything to reduce their carbon footprint in this area.

No, it seems that it’s the job of Coldplay’s fans to reduce the band’s emissions on their behalf. All the band are doing is pawning off the job whilst pretending they’re doing something themselves.

Virtue signalling at its worst…