The news coming from my sources in Detroit get more and more surreal with each passing day. And the latest one is possibly the strangest yet. Derrick May’s friends have been talking about how he could rehabilitate himself in the dance music community – and it’s hard to tell whether they’re being serious or not.

According to a source, who confirms May was not present for the discussion, he said “A couple of us got together about a week ago and the topic Derrick came up in conversation. He’s been boasting about having a busy weekend on the way, and someone joked that he wasn’t going to have many.”.

He went on: “So another guy asked how May was going to come back from all this. And the idea came about that he should do an interview with some sympathetic journalist. But talk soon turned to jokes about how terrible an idea that was”.

Only it turns out one person in that room didn’t get the hint. Apparently, he’s been contacting every person in the journalism world to talk about the prospect of a rehabilitatory Derrick May interview. Which, let’s face it, is an highly amusing prospect.

The sight of May crying crocodile tears whilst saying how sorry he’s pretending he is for the way he’s treated women in the past – whilst not actually admitting to any of the allegations, of course – is one which would give me several days of content alone. But this person clearly hasn’t thought about how this interview would be received, nor had a single thought about what the victims would make of it all.

Whether May knows anything about what his friend has been doing is unknown. But is this plan even remotely feasible? I put the question to a former editor of one of the dance music magazines.

Speaking strictly off the record, he simply said “Er, there isn’t a f***ing chance it would happen. I don’t know who’d honestly be the most stupid if this went ahead”…