We may all speak different languages and live in different countries, but there are some things universal to the human experience, no matter where we are. We are all born, we all die in the end – and we all have to pay taxes.

But now there’s a fourth one to add to the list. We all have to deal with sometimes utterly baffling bureaucracy – just ask Bob Hansan. He runs the Bobby McKey’s Dueling Piano Bar in Washington DC.

He recently applied for money from something called Shuttered Venue Operators Grant. It’s basically a fund to help out American businesses that had to remain closed for extended periods during the pandemic – a similar scheme in the UK led to Resident Advisor controversially receiving over £750,000.

Hansan was surprised to discover recently that he had died. At least he had according to American bureaucracy. The New York Times has the full story, but due to a mix up with social security checks, the club was denied funding on the grounds that Hansan is no longer with us.

He’s not the only one, it turns out. Still, on the bright side, Sterling Void’s mother managed to die three times, so you’ll be heartened to read it’s not game over for Bob Hansan yet…