A cat-astrophe on the cards? Derrick May’s plan for a clean break in Greece and marrying “passport to freedom” Sofia has met a fur-midable problem – one of her cats thinks he’s claw-ful!

Derrick May is a man who thinks he can get practically anyone on his side. And worryingly over the past few months, I’ve discovered that his disturbed belief is not entirely without foundation. For example, even when he owes you thousands of dollars, he can still persuade you to be his friend.

Of course, such tactics do not work with everyone. Such as me, for example. It also turns out that animals have immunity to the Derrick May charm virus – which is posing a problem for his Greek girlfriend Sofia Tsagaraki.

She owns a number of cats. By all accounts, she treats them like her own children, something which she is desperate to have for herself. This could be a problem – and it’s not the fact that Derrick May is 58 years old and would sooner get a senior citizens discount than a baby.

A source told me a story the other day about the time May came home from Greece two years ago. He’d been spending some time with Sofia and when he returned to Detroit, he noticed that May had this deep, painful looking scratch on his arm. He went on to explain a less than purr-fect encounter.

Upon questioning about, May is supposed to have said “It was Sofia’s f***ing cat. F***ing thing doesn’t like me. I went to say hello and it scratched me. F***ing ginger cat”.

Possibly more concerning for his love interest in Greece is the same source telling me that he’s referred to her as “my passport to freedom” more than once lately – and no one can quite tell if he’s joking…