Are they cursed? The intriguing theory by an Amateur’s House reader on why Defected STILL can’t get rid of their limited edition Todd Edwards “Jesus Loves UK Garage” shirts…

One thing this blog has had a lot of fun with this year is continuously pointing out the endless misfortune that the usually spot-on Defected are having with one of their products. The label is headed by a boss – in the form of Simon Dunmore – who’s usually very good at spotting what will, and won’t, sell.

Back in May, Defected had a new release to promote from their House Masters cash-in series, featuring Todd Edwards. One CD was full of his originals – the rights to which they’d acquired in a deal – and the other had a selection from his lengthy list of remixes. Dunmore understands the power of nostalgia well, so how else would he tap into that?

Simple. Back in 2003, Edwards made his first ever appearance in the UK – at the Time & Envy in Romford, east London. At the event, he wore a shirt captioned “Jesus Loves UK Garage” – something which has become part of underground folklore since . Dunmore ordered a “limited edition” run to be promoted alongside the House Masters release.

But it hasn’t gone very well. Because over seven months on from my first post on the subject, they’re still available on Defected’s shop. And I’m at a loss to explain why. My original theory was someone at Defected added an extra zero or five to the order form – but a reader got in touch recently with another, more intriguing hypothesis.

He thinks someone has put a curse on them. And as evidence, he cites the area’s history – a playhouse called The Theatre was built by James Burbage in 1576, close to where Defected’s offices stand today. His claim – which is somewhat amusing, if not the most credible thing I’ve ever heard – is that Todd Edwards has somehow annoyed the spirits of the area’s past.

Perhaps 2022 will be the year Defected finally get rid of them…

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