So how many plague raves DID you hold at Downing Street, Mr Johnson? The question as it emerges “bring your own booze” parties took place as far back as May 2020…

Most people who know anything about the political past of Boris Johnson had extremely low expectations when he became Britain’s Prime Minister in 2019. But even they are becoming increasingly shocked at just how appallingly bad he is in the job – and the current controversy over Downing Street holding lockdown-busting parties is yet more testament to that.

Any half-decent leader would be able to see that having one hundred people in the garden for a few drinks at a time when England’s population could only legally meet one person from another household outdoors was a terrible idea. And even if they didn’t, they could see the optics of this in the public’s eye would be horrendous if details leaked out.

Johnson somehow managed not to see either. So it now appears that Johnson has effectively been holding plague raves in his Downing Street garden – so where is his fine? At the time, organisers of illegal events could be fined up to £10,000. Someone at Downing Street needs to break open the piggy bank and cough up – and I’m not talking about the bloke who paid for his wallpaper.

Naturally, I’m quite enjoying seeing the scandal play out and hope it continues for a while longer. I’m savouring seeing condemnation from newspapers whose devotion to Johnson previously was akin to Carl Craig’s devotion to the cause of loser Derrick May. Watching rats fight each other as the ship sinks is always amusing.

Special mention must go to The Sun newspaper – their discomfort at reporting the story is quite apparent. For it was they who held a lockdown breaking party in Christmas 2020, and accounts published in Popbitch and Private Eye make for debauched reading.

We now know parties took place as far back as May 2020. Will details of any even earlier ones emerge? Either way, we now know who the biggest plague raver in Britain is…

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