Which club promoter has come up with a downright weird way of getting more female DJs into his nights? Having read recently about how women are still getting a raw deal in dance music in 2021, the promoter in question seems determined to do something about it.

So what did he do? Word is he has a book in his office filled with the pictures of female DJs – but not of their faces. Rather, the promoter keeps photos of their feet in a book. The pictures are taken from anywhere he can source them – social media, magazines, flyers and anywhere else their trotters are in view.

And he’s now started booking female DJs based on how attractive he perceives their feet to be. Their likelihood of being booked increases if their feet are manicured, seemingly less so if they nail varnish. This appears to be in the hope he’ll get to have a glimpse at the real deal when they turn up on the day.

I understand, however, that the plan isn’t going, well, to plan. Because so far, every female DJ he’s booked has turned up on the night wearing footwear that’s designed for comfort or warmth – and certainly not for the aesthetic benefits it provides for him…