Now, this blog firmly believes mocking David Guetta is like spanking a man in a gimp suit. It only uses your own energy and you suspect the bloke in the suit likes what you’re doing. So I thought I’d let Guetta spank his own bottom for the purpose of this post.
Cast your mind back to May 25th last year. This was the day George Floyd drew his last breath. He had been arrested by three police officers on suspicion of using a fake $20 bill. Since that fateful day – in which a police officer kneeled on his neck – Derek Chauvin has been convicted of murder. The event catapulted the Black Lives Matter movement into the public eye.
The world of music was acutely aware of what was going on – and unbeknown to the rest of us, so was David Guetta. On May 31st, he was doing a show in New York City which was being broadcast online to raise money for Covid-19 relief charities. And to give the man credit, his show raised over £400k for a good cause. But one moment caused notably raised eyebrows.
He announced that he’d made a song “in honour of George Floyd”. And in a moment which made millions of toes collectively curl, he announced “shout out to his family”. But you have to see this in full to appreciate it for its irredeemable naffness…
Sometimes, there’s no need for a big blurb before I get to the point of an article. This is one of those times. On Friday, DJ Mag published this on their Facebook page. It wasn’t long before Dave Clarke came along to have his say…
Fresh from the revelation yesterday that I currently have a troll whose decided it wants to bore me to death, I noticed with interest the revelation that 66% of all audio streaming in the USA is of catalogue material, rather than new. For the purposes of this, anything released longer than 18 months ago counts as catalogue material.
This isn’t a terribly surprising revelation in itself. The industry has been aware of greater interest in archive material for a while – this is why entire music catalogues are being purchased by large publishers for sometimes huge amounts of money. David Guetta recently raked in $100million in a deal with Warner Music, for example.
It’s also rather damning in other ways. Is music that’s coming out now simply not good enough to compete with what went before? Or is it just being drowned out by the interest in older material – as seems to be happening in house music?
Oh well. Perhaps my distinctive brand of “cheap house”, as my troll puts it, will gain traction in a few years. If it does, it’ll be me having the last laugh…
My post last Friday about a very shrewd business deal on the part of David Guetta, the piñata of EDM, making a nice $100million from a deal signing his old masters over to Warner Music reminded me of another episode in the life of Guetta. And it would be churlish of me not to share the fun with you all.
This goes back to the year 2013. Wunderground published this article, which remains live on the site to this day. The gist of it is that David Guetta pressed play on the wrong CD whilst DJing and clubbers heard a self-help CD for chorophobia – the name for an irrational fear of dancing.
Guetta’s solicitor appeared to think the article was fact. It seemed they didn’t know that Wunderground is essentially dance music’s version of The Onion and sent them an order demanding it was taken down.
Wunderground told Guetta’s lawyer to get stuffed. The page remains online to this day and no further correspondence was received – although Wunderground’s reply did suggest that “if your client is so worried about the DJ Mag voting season, he should stop wasting his time and mine sending his legal team chasing after comedians, and instead concentrate on making music people actually want to vote for.”.
Whilst all this was going on, Frankie Knuckles responded to the controversy – apparently unaware it was satirical – with this…
Many people in the dance music world are well into caricature territory, but they just don’t know it. They still think they’re private figures who nobody knows. This blog thoroughly enjoys mocking them for it – the fact they have absolutely no idea how to respond intrigues me.
However, some people are in a special class of their own. And David Guetta is definitely one of these. Not only does he know he’s a caricature of himself, he probably doesn’t care. Well, except for that time he lost his marbles over a Wunderground article.
That said, Guetta must have something inside him to get to where he is today. You don’t get from horrendous records called “Nation Rap” to the megastar he is today just by bluffing. And now I’ve finally worked out what it is I like about him.
It’s that he has a shrewd business brain. You see, when Parlophone was purchased by Warner Music in 2013, it was assumed the masters for David Guetta’s tracks went with it. Seems not – it was only licences that were included. Hence a big payday for Guetta worth over $100million eight years later.
Will I still be taking the mickey out of him, especially when he does things like this?