The least surprising news you’ll read today? At least 19 people caught Covid at Berghain – but good luck tracing the thousands who were there!

A while ago, I had a few complaints from regular readers that this blog had been placed in an adult category by a few web shields – and it took a while to contact these various tech companies to get this resolved So I have to watch my words with this post – but a quick Google search will bring up details for the more perspicacious of you.

As we all know, German club Berghain is primarily about gay culture. And that culture can be expressed in a, shall we say, very direct way sometimes. I make no judgement on this – I’m simply stating that almost anything goes at the club. And yes, for some people, this also includes what I shall simply call horizontal refreshment.

It’s safe to say many of the activities – horizontal and otherwise – involve dispensing with the finer details of social distancing. And whilst some of them may indeed involve masks, these are typically not the sort you might normally wear in polite company.

So I wasn’t terribly surprised, with all that in mind, to discover through the German media that 19 cases of Covid have been linked to the club. According to the Berliner Morgenpost, some 2,500 people had to be contacted. They were advised to do lateral flow tests – or PCR tests if they showed symptoms.

Berghain declined to comment when contacted by the newspaper. Which was a somewhat more dignified response than a certain nameless nightclub had when this blog approached them…

When this blog said Scott Diaz could work at Berghain, it was meant to be a joke! Source tells me the notorious German club has a problem – they haven’t got enough staff!

Last weekend, this blog published an article all about British garage and house don Scott Diaz and his latest apparent hard man look. I said that he would be perfect for BBC soap EastEnders, a sidekick for a tour with Carl Cox – or even as a new doorman at the notoriously selective Berghain.

Obviously, the article was meant as a joke. But it appears that merely days after I wrote it, Berghain are indeed short staffed. A source in the Berlin clubbing scene tells me a number of people left the club to get jobs elsewhere during the pandemic. He said “They’re not likely to come back. A couple of them became delivery drivers and are making really good salary.”.

So the club is understood to be on a recruitment drive. However, the problem could take some time to resolve. My source also told me “Berghain are selective with who they hire. Not everyone is suitable for a venue like it, not everyone understands there are ways they do things”.

Maybe you’d like to give your CV a quick look over, Scott…

The man was playing with his what?! Berghain use drawings of men doing, ahem, adult things to promote their forthcoming events – and it’s already got one music producer into trouble with Facebook…

This blog has no time whatsoever for homophobia. I deplore every possible form of it. I also strongly suspect that the biggest homophobes out there are the ones hiding a secret. As Nazï propagandist Joseph Goebbels once said “Accuse the other side of that which you are guilty”.

Which is why I wasn’t the least bit surprised to discover that musician DVS1 received a pile of homophobic comments after he posted about his forthcoming appearance at Klubnacht in Berghain. He included a, shall we say, provocative picture in his screenshot which contained… well, a number of drawings of men doing things with their penises.

I’ve actually had complaints recently from people who weren’t able to read this blog because their family filters at home were blocking it. Since I’ve only just got the problem fixed, I won’t be sharing the image – but as those of you who looked might have noticed, it’s quite explicit.

Yes, I’m well aware that nudity and sexual expression have a lot to do with some sections of the gay community. Not a problem – but on a family friendly platform like Facebook, it’s an issue. Their own rules state you cannot use images like this on their site. So aren’t you heavily restricting how much you can promote said events, particularly on image heavy platforms like Instagram by doing this?

Seems a strange strategy in this day and age. Then again, with the endless fixation of the dance music press on Berghain, maybe they don’t need to do too much promotion anyway…

Ever wondered why Felix Da Housecat was REALLY refused entry to Berghain? Here are the details that no one ever reported at the time…

Back in 2015, Felix Da Housecat paid a visit to Germany. He was in the city of Berlin – and having presumably heard of the infamous Berghain nightclub, he decided to pay a visit. The club is well known for being particularly fussy over who they let in – it’s not unheard of for the venue to let you in one week and refuse entry the following week.

Anyone going to Berghain does so with no guarantee they’ll get in. Numerous articles have been written over the years about what to do to increase your odds and what not to do. Felix Da Housecat, however, chose not to read any of this material to up his chances.

They refused to let him in. Only his side of the story has ever been heard – mostly because he shouted the loudest and also because dance music journalists are normally too lazy to ask. He responded to the snub with a series of expletive-filled tweets, accusing Berghain of being racist and disrespecting Chicago.

Not so, according to two sources. They say that he was caught jumping the queue. They claim he just cut in and hoped no one would notice – but unfortunately for him, the doormen at Berghain did.

Infact, one source was actually in the queue that very evening and clearly recalls what happened. She says “He was being a d**k, basically. He cut in line, and started acting like he was something special. He just came across as a p***k. Then when he got to the front and they shook their heads, he flipped out.”

“He started banging on about being a really big DJ and mentioned he was from the same city as Frankie Knuckles. At one point, he even used the ‘don’t you know who I am?’ line. One or two of the doormen were almost laughing at this point, it was ridiculous.”.

Another source confirmed the story as being correct, simply summing up saying “The reason Felix was turned away was nothing to do with racism and everything to do with him acting like an entitled a***hole.”.

Funny how none of those details made it into his rant, isn’t it?

Germany’s Berghain is reopening its garden this weekend – but does anyone outside the dance music press even remotely care?

Dance music journalists have a truly peculiar attitude to the Berlin based club Berghain. Their fascination with this place has even led to their bouncer doing interviews in the press. And let’s not even get into all the extra curricular activities that also occur there.

Which explains why the news that Berghain will be reopening their garden this weekend is inevitably getting far more attention than it should. Anyone going will need a negative PCR test that’s a maximum of 24 hours old and will have to wear a FFP2 face mask whilst in the queue, and in the garden if they’re allowed entry.

Cue fruity jokes that some people who frequent the club will probably be used to wearing masks, even of a different kind…

Berlin is declaring its clubs to be “cultural institutions” – sensible or just a sign of the dry German sense of humour?

Much is made by the dance music press here in Britain who think that nightclubs and such are treated badly by the authorities. It’s something you’ll find them going on about whenever a journalist has a deadline to reach and not a lot of time to do it.

It typically goes like this. They go on about how much more generous they are abroad, whilst doing their utmost to make it sound like British clubs run under rules so draconian that even Kim Jong-Un would wince with embarrassment.

One idea they especially gravitate towards is Germany making Berghain a “cultural institution”. Indeed, a vote took place in Berlin recently as to whether the designate all clubs in the city as such.

Quite why a club which is best known for telling people they can’t come in was designated a “cultural institution” in the first place. I suspected it was just an example of the infamously dry German sense of humour.

It turns out not. It’s for tax reasons