Want an example of why longer sets make sense? Judge Jules has to travel for 3 hours and 39 minutes this weekend – to play a set lasting just one hour!

One particular bugbear of mine – and admittedly, it’s a very long list – about dance music today is the length of the average DJ set. When the first clubs playing house music in the 1980s appeared, normal practice was to have one or two DJs playing across the whole night. Any more than two was considered unusual.

Those days are long gone. It now seems to be all about having as many names on the lineup as physically possible. And unless they somehow have a way of extending the length of the day, this inevitably means shorter sets.

Hence why this weekend, Judge Jules, to give but one example, is playing a one-hour set in Manchester…

In order to do this set, he has to undertake a journey from Highgate in north London to the Albert Hall in Manchester. The quickest journey time I could find was 3 hours and 39 minutes by car – and that’s assuming there are no stops on the journey or any unexpected holdups. And then he has to do the same journey home again the next day – and that assumes he won’t be staying in a Manchester hotel for the night.

That’s nearly seven and a half hours in the car and a night in a hotel – there’s a decent place called The Edwardian on the same street as the venue, by the way – for one hour of work. And then you wonder why DJs charge so much for their appearances.

The return journey from London to Manchester is around a full tank of petrol for most cars and a quick search on Google reveals the aforementioned Edwardian hotel costs around £400 for this coming Saturday night.

Still, DJs as a whole have never been particularly concerned about things like practicalities or environmental issues

Why be in just two places at once when you can be in three? Judge Jules manages the impossible by being on two radio stations and a live show, all at the same time…

It’s been quite a heavy-duty Sunday on this blog today, so let’s wrap things up for the evening with something a little bit lighter. On Friday afternoon, I wrote about the busy weekend which Judge Jules was about to have and the seemingly impossible feat he was going to attempt to achieve.

Well, it turns out he’s managed not only to do the impossible, but a bit extra on top of that. You see, he wasn’t on the radio, but twice – and both at exactly the same time. Yes, at 7pm last night, listeners might have been perplexed to discover he was not only on Kisstory doing a show playing his favourite club classics – he was also on his Global Radio show with a more modern focus.

And at 8pm, he was apparently at three different places at once. In addition to being on the radio twice, he was also at Billericay in Essex starting what was meant to be a three hour show where he did much the same as his Kisstory show – namely, milking the same cash cow he made a fortune out of in the 1990s.

Quite how did Jules do it? Sadly, he hasn’t replied to my email querying his incredible feat. So either those radio shows were pre-recorded a few days ago – or Judge Jules can now add being a master of bilocationism to his long list of career achievements. You can judge on that one…

I didn’t know you could be in two places at once, Jules! Mystery as he has 2-hour show on Kisstory starting at 7pm on Saturday – but also has live show at 8pm with his band…

As a dad of three very young children, I wish I had the ability to be in two or even three places at once. If I did, one of me could spend his whole time maintaining this fine blog, whilst another brings the kids to where they need to be, or sorts out their dinner in the evening or whatever. It would be a very useful superpower to possess.

One person who already appears to have this power is Judge Jules. On Saturday night, he’s going to be on Kisstory at 7pm with a 2-hour show filled with club classics. If you’ve listened to Jules anytime since around 1995, you’ll have a fair idea of the sort of music to expect. A source close to Judge Jules tells me he’s been particularly excited about his appearance on the station…

On Saturday night, he’s also meant to be in Billericay, of all places, with a live band doing a show which, by some coincidence, is also about rinsing out the club classics which he made his name off the back of. That particular show starts at 8pm and according to the Facebook page about the event, should run for around 3 hours.

The more eagle-eyed of you might have noticed that there’s a one-hour overlap between the two events. So perhaps it’s just as well Jules isn’t also pledging to do a live stream – he typically does those from 9pm to 10.30pm on Saturday nights with subjects varying according to a rota.

So how does he do it? Does he have the power to be in multiple locations at the same time, or is there something more mundane going on? Judge Jules has been approached for comment…

After Kisstory announce Judge Jules is coming back on radio, the question everyone wants the answer to – will the cheesy lines from his heyday be making a return too?

One man who had a pretty big role in dance music’s development in the UK back in the 90s was Judge Jules. When he wasn’t the A&R man at Manifesto or taking advantage of “opportunities” throwing themselves in his direction, he was out in clubs pushing the house and trance sound he believed in.

In addition to all that, he also worked on the radio. Starting out at Kiss FM in 1990 when it was still a pirate station – they went legal later that year – he was hired by Radio 1 in 1997. At that time, his show went out between 5pm and 7pm on Saturdays, thus still allowing him to do a full weekend of gigs.

The show quickly became known for Jules’s use of cheesy one-liners, usually referencing events in the news at the time, and jingles taken from other shows. One of those was Eric Cartman of South Park shouting “kick ass”. And with the news that Jules has been hired by Kisstory, the question has to be asked – will listeners be able to hear these jingles and one-liners again?

Jules has been approached for comment to see whether it’s happening. But one refrain from the Radio 1 shows of the 90s is probably best, well, refrained from use. Regular listeners might remember one particular jingle where Jules played a clip featuring the voice of a famous Australian saying “it’s time for house”.

And who was that famous Australian? Er, Rolf Harris. Given subsequent events, that one is probably best left consigned to radio history…

Just how bad DO you have to be for Judge Jules to call you out? Mild-mannered DJ has to cancel a number of appearances – and he isn’t holding back on the reasons why…

This blog absolutely loves it when someone finally comes along and decides to call something out for the nonsense it really is. And when you’re being called out by Judge Jules on social media – who is, by the many accounts I’ve had, one of the more polite and professional DJs in a scene full of egotistical types – you know you’ve really messed up.

This weekend, people who have had tickets booked for his shows in the north of England have found themselves having to redirect their satnavs to other venues, as both his Friday and Saturday shows were cancelled. After the Friday show was pulled, I got the impression something more was up – but Jules remained tight-lipped on details whilst also announcing a free party nearby.

But yesterday morning – after the second gig was called off and a number of people started getting emails saying a few other gigs were also off – Jules wasn’t in such a kind mood. And when a calling out starts with the “Where do I start with this?”, blisters are imminent.

On his Facebook – which he recently acquired back from hackers, by the way – and Instagram pages, he said “In over 30 years in the music industry, I can honestly say that I have never had the displeasure of dealing with so many negative issues and problems caused by the inept inability to organise and promote events as I have encountered this weekend with one promoter.”

He continued, saying “This weekend, promoting both of my live band shows, I have encountered an individual who is the worst example of such a “don’t care” attitude. I am extremely sorry to say that the Live Band show tonight in Stockton is cancelled.”

After announcing a second free party, Jules finished with one final parting shot, saying “As well as attending the DJ set, you can get a refund on your ticket for the live show. Please tell them you want a refund not a credit note and quote 7.3 of their Ts & Cs. Rest assured we will be coming back to do more Live Band shows in the near future, but with tour promoters who care and know what they are doing.”.

Ouch. Full credit goes to Judge Jules and his team for managing to stage two free parties in two days at incredibly short notice. As for the promoter in question? Jules doesn’t name him. And whilst Amateur’s House is familiar with their identity, I’ve decided not to publish it for now. I emailed them to give them a chance to comment on the claims.

Somewhat unsurprisingly, they haven’t replied to my emails at the time of publishing…

It’s not a good start to the weekend for Judge Jules as his Facebook page and group are hacked – so was the perpetrator the same person who took control of Todd Terry’s page a few months ago?

This blog occasionally makes fun of Judge Jules – who has now been DJing for around 700 years – but I feel a lot of sympathy for his current plight. Anyone who visits his official Facebook page or his Judge Won’t Budge group on the same site will notice some highly unusual posts going up over the past few days.

And if they seem out of character, that’s because they are. They’ve been hacked. So instead of the usual posts telling everyone about his Saturday night shows or giving us a glimpse into the daily life of Judge Jules, we’ve been treated to… well, stuff like this.

As much as I hope Jules gets his Facebook page and group back in his control very soon – he disclosed on Instagram that they’re working on it – his chances of having it back in the near future are almost zero. Todd Terry had his page hacked back in March and only re-acquired it recently.

Unless you know someone personally who works at Facebook or are a member of the press with a sizeable following, the social media platform seems utterly indifferent to the plight of those whose pages are stolen from them. And that’s not the only similarity I see at work here.

The content which this hacker is posting on Jules’s social platforms is very similar in style to what appeared on Todd Terry’s page for several months. Which leads me to wonder – was it the same person or organisation who perpetrated both of these attacks?

It’s starting to look a lot like it to me. The question is when will the likes of Facebook take this problem seriously?

Ever wanted to see Justin Fletcher (known to millions of kids as Mr Tumble!) and Judge Jules on the same lineup? No, me neither – but that’s precisely what’s happening this weekend!

These are strange times we’re living in. For example, Paris Brightledge’s prophetic lyrics about “dictation being enforced in Afghanistan” appear to be once again coming true. The world is trying to come out of a pandemic which has killed roughly four and a half million people. And now this.

Judge Jules has been around for a while now and seen a lot of things. But I honestly suspect not even he thought the day would come when he was going to appear on the same lineup as one of Britain’s most famous children’s entertainers.

And here’s the proof…

Yes, the man himself is going to appear on the same stage as Justin Fletcher. Now, I live with three children aged five and under – so I know Justin Fletcher’s name pretty well. Both of my older kids have gone through periods of being enamoured with his character Mr Tumble, and I’m pretty confident my youngest will too.

Tickets for the Saturday are long gone, suggesting Judge Jules and Mr Tumble might want to appear on more lineups with each other. Perhaps Judge Jules could do a guest mix for Tumble FM? Just saying…

Brighton Music Conference is back next month – but why are people expected to fork out £100 for tickets when their own site can’t be bothered telling us what’s going on?

Music conferences have become a big thing over the past few years. Making music doesn’t make much money, but someone somewhere has worked out that talking about is a potential money raker. Hence why Brighton Music Conference – possibly not quite as glamorous as Miami, but definitely more glamorous than Blackpool – was born.

This year’s event is due to take place between the 22nd and 24th of September. You’re more than welcome to have a gander around their site, but you won’t see much – other than tickets which cost over £100. The general tickets seem to have sold out a long time ago.

I have little doubt the appeal of being able to do an in-person event once again after the online version last year has helped sell those tickets – but I do have one criticism to make. When you click through on the programme section of their website, it just tells you it’s coming soon.

Am I the only one who thinks that’s a bit of a cop out? No one is expecting them to have all the dates and times of exactly where everyone will be a full seven weeks in advance. But a little bit of information would be helpful. Literally all we currently know is that Carl Cox, Sherelle and Judge Jules will be there.

There’s nothing else. Is Judge Jules there to do a set? Is he there to talk about his long career in music? Is he there to juggle chainsaws and fluffy kittens? We simply don’t know. Give us a clue…