Spare a thought on this Monday evening for poor Danny Rampling. For many years, he was revered and indeed enjoyed his status as an okay-ish DJ. He had his own show on the radio, and just when he thought his life couldn’t get better, it suddenly got worse.

Radio 1 announced in 2002 that he was leaving the station. Since then, Mr Rampling has moved all over the place – he became a chef, then talked about running a restaurant, then didn’t. And then the coronavirus pandemic of 2020 arrived on our shores.

Before you know, poor Danny Rampling spent his days as a full-time conspiracy theorist. Plandemic, Agenda 21, the great reset and freedom were suddenly the only words in his vocabulary that mattered – and the first of those was not even a word. He attended protests nearly every weekend and spent the rest of his time telling everyone about his views.

So, spare a thought for Danny Rampling tonight after Boris Johnson confirmed that coronavirus restrictions in England are being removed almost in their entirety from next Monday. He has spent months telling everyone that they would never have their freedoms back – and you have to use his nonsensical definition of “freedom” here – yet the English will be free of almost all restrictions from next week.

What will he do to fill his days now? Which hopelessly deluded and inaccurate cause will he cling onto next? No doubt that, this being Danny Rampling, it’ll be okay-ish.

Incidentally, a couple of people have complained over the past week that this blog mocks Danny Rampling and has turned him into a figure of fun. Not guilty. Let’s get one thing clear here – the only one who’s turned Danny Rampling into a figure of fun is Danny Rampling…