As you know, this blog likes to bring you a wide variety of news, all the way from serious stories to udder nonsense. And this one is somewhere between the two – although admittedly closer to the latter category.

Because you see, over the weekend, Defected boss Simon Dunmore got hungry.

On the face of it, this isn’t surprising. As a species, us humans do need to eat from time to time in order to continue being alive. And some of us experience it more than others. But by the looks of Dunmore’s Instagram page on Saturday night, it’s probably not a phenomenon he’s likely to experience for some days.

Just take a look at the amount of meat in these pictures…

I actually feel full just looking at these photographs. And I’m not the only one. The comments section is filled with people equally surprised at the amount of cow being served up. Britsh DJ Graeme Park sums it up nicely, by simply exclaiming “Jesus!”. And the genius from Germany that is Mousse T is lost for words entirely – and can only muster up a shocked face emoji.

Thankfully – well, in the context of Mr Dunmore’s toilet, at least – he wasn’t forced to eat this entire cow on his own. An outline of a person wearing white can be seen in his sunglasses, although it’s unclear exactly who he was sharing this meaty delight with.

Right, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off. For some reason, I fancy a big milkshake. Can’t think why…

By The Editor

Editor-in-chief at Amateur’s House.